FTM ON HOLIDAY

This was my first summer holiday as a transman,  I was heading for Madrid with My girlfriend and her younger two siblings. I was very much looking forward to having time away, to get my head clear ready for when I get back as shortly after I will be starting University!

I was excited about everything except for when I thought about getting in the pool. I decided that I cannot let my dysphoria control me, or to be a prisoner of my body.No Way! I love the sun! In the end I just wore board shorts and a sport bra----------------->

Sure some people looked at me, but also not as much as I would have thought. I didn’t make it a big deal, others didn’t make a big deal.  

It reminded me of my teenage years, when use to lived in Spain,  I would go swimming in a t-shirt and gym shorts. I forgot that I never wore a bikini until I was about 23. Simply because I never liked my body as a teenager, I just never wanted to wear one. (Obviously after modelling and acting I did wear things I would never have otherwise.)

Another thing I wouldn’t usually do; is walk around without wearing a sports bra... 
Especially because I use them to bind, However it was a heat wave in Spain and after the two days of suffering and getting pain in my ribs, I literally just couldn’t bear it. In the end, during the day I wore an oversized vest top that was fitted under the arms. it worked. I tried not to think about it to much.
Overall I was forced to step out of my comfort zone, which pushes you to grow.

While shopping in the centre, I decided to use the Men's changing room because there weren't any one working on the entrance. I felt so happy that I could just get changed on the same level like all the other guys, its not a lot to ask for really. Yet it made my whole shopping experience so much more enjoyable. Next time I am shopping in London; I have decided that I will use the Men's changing room and I will challenge anyone who refuses to let me. I won't be going up and down floors a million times! life will be simpler. =P      

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